I always looked forward to celebrating Mother's Day, and on this day I reflect on how humble I have come to feel in this role. I thought that a baby would give me a sense of pride like never before that I could boastfully show off everywhere I went. Like a "Hey look! I brought this beautiful person in this world and she belongs to me!" kind of feeling. I sort of anticipated some entitlements to come along.
I've been knocked to my knees in humility. It's as if God slapped me silly and said, "Woman, you think you've done things in your life? You think you can take all the credit for this beautiful being?" The truth is, she is a little individual! She has survived the evolutionary process and is a culmination of the best of me, her father, and all that she learned prior to this lifetime. I'd love to take credit, but the truth is, she was conceived and born with a strength and will within herself and I am humbled and honored to learn from her while showing her the way. I'm still not sure if she is learning more from me or I am learning from her.
She makes me appreciate all that my life has been, good and bad, everything I have done and experienced in my life has led me to this moment in being her mother. Every joy, triumpth, failure, and struggle; has prepared me to mother this beautiful being in one way or another.
Everything I have is to give to her.
When this moment of early motherhood began, suddenly my concerns seemed insignificant compared to the tremendous undertaking of ensuring her chance in this world. I felt as though she was renting my body as her habitat, and my duty as her landlord was to provide the best possible property for this tenant.
I feel like a foster mother more than anything, and what a responsibility! Her soul belongs to the universe and I am simply serving as her mother guide in this life. Its more than changing diapers, wiping a few tears, and saving for college. It's my duty to ensure that her life's purpose comes to fruition in this lifetime, and I am to be whoever and whatever she needs me to be. Wherever she came from and wherever she is going next, I was chosen to be a mother to her now, and I feel incredibly blessed. It's given my life a whole new meaning. Wow.
When I observe mamas complain, truth me told,
I feel offended for the child. Okay so let's be honest, women love to bitch. It's one way we connect with each other. I'm not totally innocent of this behavior. But I do believe complaining about the hardships of motherhood disrespects the fundamental force which deemed you should have this gift of a child. I hear some mothers talk about how anxious they are to get back to their careers, how tired they are, how dad doesn't help, or how "difficult" their babies are being! I'm perplexed when I see mothers knowingly practice unhealthy habits which endanger their children and not seek assistance in quitting (although I am compassionate to those mamas out there who struggle with addiction and continue to fight the fight).
Yes, being a mother is challenging. It's exhausting. Sometimes, it hurts incredibly bad (pre-labor, during labor, post labor). But the joy and privilege that comes with it is absolutely worth the pain, and I would like to empower every mother to remember this when things do get tough, and thank the Universal Powers for the opportunity to have this experience at all. The sacrifices that come with providing the best possible life to this soul that is merely stopping through your household until the next lifetime, are nothing compared to the absolute happiness that this soul will bring to the world.
Yes, we mothers deserve a day of honor for all we sacrifice and do. We must take care of ourselves if we are to be capable of taking care of a needy, innocent, helpless being in addition to everyone else we care for on a daily basis. But for this and my first Mother's Day, I feel an overwhelming sense of inspiration to dedicate all gratitude to our children who make this experience even possible.